Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Santa Baby? Ah, I Mean, Kris Dude?

Day 71 - Photo 71. I met Santa in the men's room today. Yeah, I know, I thought it was weird too. But he was the real Santa. Not the department store Santa. Not the Salvation Army bell ringing Santa. Not the Billy Bob Bad, Macy's, WalMart, etc., etc., etc., Santa. The real Santa.

"Hey, you're...ah...Santa?" I said feeling a little, well, childish. Not to mention uncomfortable, we're still in the men's room.

"Yes. Or Santa Claus, Papa Noel, Pere Noel, Babbo Natale, Father Christmas, Saint Nick, Kris Kringel..." He replied and went on for sometime in other languages and names that I couldn't even begin to comprehend.

And now thoroughly confused I asked, "Ah, what should I call you?"

"What ever you're comfortable with." He said. And then he winked at me.

"I'm not really comfortable right now. We're in a bathroom and you're undressing." I'm eyeing the door and judging how quickly I can make the exit as he drops his pants to the floor. "And you just winked at me!"

"Relax. I've got my 'civvies' on underneath." Whew I could see that. He was wearing a pair of Jordache jeans. "You can call me Kris. Just don't call me late for cocoa." He chuckled and his belly actually shook like a bowl full of jelly. Freaky!

"What are you doing here Santa?"

"Changing my clothes."

"No I mean, here, in California. What are you doing here?"

"Kris. What am I doing here...KRIS!"

"What are you doing here? Kris?"

"Yes." He said, his droll little mouth drawn up like a bow.

"Yes what." I said, now really confused, as I looked at him in spite of myself.

"Yes Kris. Call me Kris. Remember? You asked!" He said, as his eyes twinkled.


" I can hear you fine young man. I'm old, well, older, not deaf."

"Well, it's just that I never really..."

"Oh, I know. It's okay. It's a bit much for some people. Most folks stop believing in me about the age of eight or nine." And nodded his head and gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

"Why do you look like, well I mean, where's your hair and your beard?"

"All an illusion son. You see what I want you to see."

"Well, what are you doing here? Now. It's not Christmas yet."

"I was in town on business and the GPS went down on my sleigh. I've got a good tech guy here in So Cal I like to work with...he knows how to, shall I say, work discreetly? So in the meantime..." And laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod. "I thought I'd grab a couple fish tacos and a Margarita. God, I love those fish tacos! The elves can make anything, except good fish tacos."

And then as quickly as he'd arrived, he was gone. But I heard him exclaim, ere he walked out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all...ah you know the drill. Forget about your worries. Spend sometime with your family, friends, and loved ones. And doggone it, life is to short to scrimp on a decent plate of fish tacos and a tasty Margarita. Oh yeah...and Merry Christmas...Peace out dude!"

And he was gone. I think fish tacos sound good for lunch tomorrow. Wanna join me? We can split the Margarita!


Anonymous said...

dodgeing is a little obvious on both faces....

Rick said...

Yup. Photo shot with a D1H at 800 (grain like golf balls) ISO, camera also has exposure problems. First exposure dark and second exposure blown out. Lesson learned here, that's what it's all about. Thanks for the feedback.

Barbie Fiske-Phillips said...

I kept wondering if he was going to ask if you wanted to sit on his lap...
Great story, my friend!