Sunday, January 11, 2009

A Cure for the Common Cold

I woke up feeling like crap. It never ceases to amaze me how the fact that some microscopic bug can invaded my body, compromise my immune system and leave me feeling like a truck is parked and top of me. And the simple act of walking from one room to the next leaves you feeling tired and pitifully weak. I supposed I could go to the doctor, back by the time I actually got into see one , it'd be 2010. I could ingest a variety of cold medicines from a long list of products guaranteed to make you feel 100%. I could even finish this blog and go to bed. But when you're feeling this crappy there's only one certain cure.

1. Take one overgrown television remote on steroids. Which you'll no doubt need because you're all blurry eyed. Covet it like a religious relic.

2. Plop down on the couch until you become one with the fabric and shape of it, selfishly spreading your body across every square inch leaving no possible room for anyone else to come near you. And in the off chance someone attempts to sit near you let the warbling congestion rise to a gravelly moan. Then for effect cough like a barking seal and blow your nose conspicuously leaving the Kleenex nearby. That'll make the intruder feel more like calling the CDC then sitting next to you. Oh yeah, cough on the remote!

3. And finally, mix in an endless stream mindless television. Preferably the History Channel, National Geographic Channel and even better..back-to-back episodes of Spongebob Square Pants!

I don't feel much better. But, I'm enjoying Spongebob.

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